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Why Are Some People Hard to Read?

What Information technology Means When Someone Says You're "Difficult To Read"

When I moved to Chicago, I met a boy who would simply be in my life for two weeks. One week we would spend together physically, while I would spend the next badly trying to figure out where I went wrong and carefully crafting texts to assemble with him. We went on our first date, wandering around the city that was new to both of us. He held my manus, he was a gentleman, and he kissed me goodnight. What I had liked about him was that he was worldly, well read, and genuinely kind. He was dissimilar from me in the sense that he meant every kind matter he said where I was raised to be polite because it was kind and because I was told to.

We spent the next five days in deep conversation and each other's arms. Information technology was 1 of the moments this summer that I had entertained the idea of a summer romance. I'm not unremarkably 1 for quick flings, just I was here for the summer attempting to experience new things and dammit I was determined to experience a cyclone romance.

A comment he told me, every bit nosotros were together one night was, "You lot're hard to read. Usually I know exactly what someone is thinking…open up to me!" His words hurt me deep down and I struggled to understand why. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm about as difficult to read as a coloring book. I'one thousand the kickoff to cry during emotional Wal-Mart commercials and I have a difficult time politely hiding my repulsion when someone tells me they love The Big Bang Theory.

Was I really that hard to read? I wondered. I wanted to open up upwardly to him; I wanted to feel connected to him. I began to wonder if maybe the Internet and porn and chat rooms had left me feeling confused about what was connection with someone. I began to wonder if rolling effectually in bed with someone had become what I equated with a deep emotional bond.

One dark, when I was feeling particularly vulnerable and silly and full of mistakes, I asked him to come over. Maybe I opened upwardly likewise much to him past crying softly into his shoulder simply I was scared and dislocated much similar twenty year olds are when they observe themselves in a new metropolis with no friends or family to lean on.

In the morn he dressed and said, "see you subsequently, kid." The moment he left, I knew I may have made a mistake and that would be the final time we would purposefully see each other.

People act like they want to peel away your layers, similar they want to be the first person to run across "the real you." As if, in some way, yous've been hiding yourself from everyone around you, waiting for someone to come forth who really "gets y'all."

The nighttime truth of the matter is that people rarely want to know y'all in the way you might think. They don't desire to know that y'all accept been staving off suicidal thoughts for more than than a decade or that y'all walk 2 train stops home every solar day so y'all can talk on the phone with your parents and cry to them nigh how homesick you are. No, they want to know that their ideas of who y'all are line up with the person yous portray yourself to be to the rest of the globe. They desire to piece you together because if they do, it takes away the fear of the unknown. I remember it'south considering people take a tendency to say they desire to read you, to understand you, to see a side of you no one else gets to see; but they take a greater tendency to not similar it when you finally let them.

I'm guilty of doing this as well. I'll build someone upward in my mind and so much that when I find out they're not the exact replica of my imaginary version of them, I feel betrayed. Information technology's childish and immature but that is what has become commonplace in our generation. It'south 1 matter to know someone from their twitter feed, from their Facebook status updates, from their texting mannerisms just it's another to know them on a securely personal and invasive way.

On the rare occasion that someone does genuinely desire to know you, they won't need to mention that you're hard to read considering instead, they'll really attempt to detect out who you are. They won't need to ask you to open upward, because it will be your natural response to be yourself with them. You'll show them every quirk and crack in your carefully synthetic persona considering when the fourth dimension is right, it'south thrilling to be that vulnerable. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Why Are Some People Hard to Read?

Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/shawn-binder/2013/08/what-it-means-when-someone-says-youre-hard-to-read/